February 2012
27 posts
Emma has about...
20 spoons. In her hands. WHAT THE FUCK?
~Morgan
WHY DOES HUSSIE LIE TO US?
Stupid people depress me.
‘nuff said.
~Lizzzzzzz
I think I realized something today,
A lot of people (including myself) help other people with their problems to take their mind off of their own rather than to help them. Whenever I help someone from now on I will probably feel incredibly selfish. ~Morgan
7 tags
Oops.
Shit.
~Morgan
bri-bacon:
Pretty sure I had homework than needed doing this weekend
haha
screw it all
adamusprime:
when i was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band
he said son when you grow up would you be a lawyer because that would give you a very comfortable lifestyle
NO TUMBLR. YOU ARE WRONG.
1 tag
when allowing Liz in my parents garage...
Me: Liz why do you have a fake rabbits tail in your hair?
Liz: I found it and clipped it to these goggles.
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Liz: A commune? Isn't that where prostitutes live?
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Liz: I like cheese. No wait, *teenager naggy voice* i like chocolate milk. Now we know I can cheese.
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Liz: WHAT AM I DOING IN MY CLOSET?II
Me: You're in my parents garage.
Liz: I don't understand... life.
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Liz: Oh look, duct tape. Let's see what we can destroy with it!
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Liz: Oh I found the flashlight I left in your car with my name on it! Just like that rock on the beach that i was really sad about because it was in the shape of a heart and we went back to the restaurant. Look it's a flashlight! It does this! *turns it on*
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Liz: A KNIFE.
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Liz: My eyebrows feel weird
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Liz: *walks in with a construction hat* I don't know where this came fr- *gasp* MY HAT. NOW IM WEARING TWO HATS. OH MY GOD IT LIGHTS UP. *construction hat falls off* oops.
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Liz: THATS FROM THE TIME WE WENT TO THE RAINFOREST CAFE! Not you and me just me and my family. Actually... did my family just leave me there? WHY DID I LEAVE THIS HERE?
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Liz: Now, hatty, don't hurt my eyebrows again.
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Liz: MY HAND WEIGHS MORE THAN A KNIFE!
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Liz: scaleKind... WAIT THAT WOULD BE A TERRIBLE STRIFE SPECIBUS
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Liz: I just remember blowing out the candles on that cake thing... but they weren't candles! So I don't know what I blew out.
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Liz: I'M FLYING!!!!! No wait I just fell.
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Liz: NEVER HIT YOUR HEAD ON A FILE. JUST LIKE YOU SHOULD NEVER PUT YOUR TOE IN A FIRE. You have to learn that the hard way.
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Liz: I think that used to be on the ceiling at one point but now it's just upside down.
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Liz: I SWEAR I AM NOT HIGH!
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Liz: I found ratatouille!
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Liz: CATACOGS? No wait it says catalogs.
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Liz: OW! YOU NEED TO STOP DOING THAT!
Me: Who are you talking to?
Liz: The iron. Oh, no wait... it's not an iron. It's actually a sander.
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Liz: I HEAR IT! The sound of... silence. I'm alone.
Me: I'm here.
Liz: Oh yeah. I thought you were just writing down what i was saying for amusement, like amusement parks! I remember that one time when I was at an amusement park and I got lost because I told my mom I would go on that ride but I didn't and I got dippin dots and that man wouldn't let me pay for it because I kept my money in my shoe. That was only a year ago.
Me: A year ago? You were LOST?
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Liz: There was an old lady who swallowed a fly AND THEN SHE DIED. That book used to be my favourite book because she died in the end.
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Liz: THAT WAS THE DUST FROM YOUR HEART!
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Liz: The small line of ants that are marching through... OW! OOOOOW!
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Liz: *falls off her chair*
My cousin: *walks in* You know you're wearing goggles on your head?
Liz: Yeah, I know I'm Liam.
My cousin: What does that mean?
Liz: I have a strange fetish for headgear
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Liz: ROLLING IN THE DEEP! YOU HAD MY HEART INSIDE A CAN AND PLAYED IT TO THE BEAT! Wait the beat of what?
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Liz: *sees my keyboard piano* IT'S TOM! Did you know he was the namesake of my hair?
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Liz: Why is Matt Smith holding an apple? NO WAIT IT'S A MARACA! Why is he holding a maraca?
Me: What?
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Liz: I used to like the regular kind of cheesecake but now I only eat the chocolate kind.
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Liz: THE LIGHT!
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Liz: Did you know that if you pull on a dogs tail it will most likely bite you?
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Liz: *grabs viking hat* I have another hat!
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Liz: This plaster used to be on my foot but theres a sock on my foot so how did it jump off of there?
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Liz: When I was little I used to pick my nose with the end of this hat because it was sharp.
Me: But you don't OWN this hat.
Liz: Oh. I forgot what happened.
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Liz: We should make a series... "Liz's Misadventures with Glue!"
Me: That would be the weirdest series ever.
Liz: THAT WOULD BE THE LONGEST SERIES EVER.
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Liz: Are fingers supposed to be that colour?
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Liz: Do they make liquid gold?
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Liz: I wonder if Peter Pan ever pulls weird faces in pictures...
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Liz: *Laughs maniacally*
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Liz: Do turtles have teeth? I wonder if turtles have teeth.
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Liz: DID YOU KNOW I WAS NAMED AFTER A ALLIGATOR? No I wasn't but I wish I was.
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Liz: I don't remember putting this all on.
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Liz: I don't remember buttons.
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Liz: *shows me a dragon toy* 1TS T3R3Z1!
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Liz: There's a teddy bear on my bed and it's staring at me.
Me: We're not in the flat right now.
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Liz: Are people allowed to make nests?
Me: Have you seen this garage? Yes.
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Liz: *giggling* what is wrong with me?
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Liz: I DONT REMEMBER GETTING HERE.
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Liz: I WISH THIS WAS TOY STORY AND HE WAS REAL!!!
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Liz: I found another hat.
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Liz: I look like a caddy.
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Liz: I never had a full pair of these slippers.
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Liz: I found my sock.
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Liz: I used to have cat ears.... I FOUND MY WORKBOOK. WHY WAS IT IN YOUR GARAGE?
Me: It's an ap english book, you're too stupid.
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Liz: Have you seen my toothbrush?
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Liz: What's in this sparkly box? Oh, nothing. Ow! Don't close boxes on your hand. See I should have an advice show.
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Liz: *yelling at phone* NOT FBI I DONT FBI, I THINK.
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Liz: Oh look a beach ball. NO BEACH BALL COME BACK!
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Liz: Frosty the snowman used to kill children in their sleep, 'til he killed me and I melted him with a hairdryer.
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Liz: I don't even remember saying that. Maybe I am high. On what? Glue?
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Liz: I THOUGHT MOOSE WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE IN THE FOREST.
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Liz: That's where my money went. Aw it's fake.
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Liz: THATS WHERE MY JUGGLING BALL WENT.
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Liz: Idaho state map. Inotdaho.
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Liz: Now lets get started on that nest.
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Liz: I WAS LAYING ON A BRA THIS ENTIRE TIME? WHOSE IS THIS? *turns to me* is this your moms?
Me: That's another hat.
Liz: OH YAY!
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Liz: Frosty the snowman was as alive as he could be until I killed him.
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Liz: I've never been to Alaska.... let's make a roadtrip out of it. If only I could drive. How old am I again?
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Liz: Who's jacket is this and why is it in my backpack?
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Liz: I think this is a belt...
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Liz: WHO HAS A RIBBON WITH FLAGS ON IT? I DO.
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Me: Are you done with your escapades of my garage?
Liz: NO. *weird voice* I love garages.
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Liz: OOH LOOK ANOTHER HAT!
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Liz: WHOA A HAT.
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Liz: Did you know that foxes are mammals? I di- AN UGG. You have a lot of hats. No, wait, that's a boot isn't it?
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Liz: 'Cause I have eggplants on my feet... I should start calling them Eddplants
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Liz: Life is like a box of chocolates, when you don't know what to do with them, make lemonade.
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Liz: Let's pretend this turtle (a toy thing) is a tv.
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Me: GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. OF. THE. GARAGE.
Liz: *hugs "tv"* NEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
To be possibly continued.
~Morgan
VONDELL SWAIN: owl-recluse reblogged your post:... →
vondell-swain:
owl-recluse reblogged your post: heronqueenblues: people seem to be confusing the…
That’s not abuse at all though?
it’s not direct physical abuse
but he — and i’m echoing olga here — he used a weapon to assert his authority and his power over her to scare her into…
greatelsewhere:
ricktimusastleytron:
SWEET BRO IS RED
HELLA JEFF IS BLU
U MUST B STAIRS
CUZ I’M FALLIN’ FOR U
god
bless
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-
I was making tea and then i forgot about it and the moment I remember and get it the tv makes a loud noise and I burn my hand.
The funny thing is it’s only like… 1st degree but it hurts worse than my second degree burns ever did.
~Morgan (the epic failure)
I did not just do that. Also I did not screenshot...
That is a beautiful planet name.
~Morgan
That awkward moment when...
you hear this ticking noise and you’re like, “OH MY GOD ITS A BOMB” but then you realize you’re wearing a watch…
~Lizzy (At this moment I am ashamed to be signing this post)
4 tags
Thanks, South Park.
Whenever I see “Asperger syndrome” I think Ass Burgers. God. GREAT JOB.
When life gives you lemons, CRUSH THE LEMONS!!!
